Managing Up: A Guide to Elder Care and Family Financial Planning for the Sandwich Generation
Welcome to EWM INSIGHTS where we celebrate on HUMAN CAPITAL!
EWM INSIGHTS Advanced Planning Series with James Bergeron, J.D.
In this latest episode of Insights, host Paul Ellis sits down with Jim Bergeron from Nuveen to discuss the complexities of elder and parental care, a pressing issue for many families today.
This "Managing Up" conversation highlights the critical role of proactive, empowering planning that encompasses not only logistical and financial considerations but also the emotional and interpersonal dynamics influencing elder care.
With summer gatherings approaching, it’s the perfect opportunity to discuss the needs and wishes of aging parents and relatives.
The episode emphasizes the importance of open communication. Paul and Jim highlight that while discussing elder care wishes can be challenging, it is crucial for ensuring family members receive the care they desire. They suggest fostering a relaxed atmosphere for these conversations, even recommending games like The Ungame to help navigate sensitive topics, thereby transforming a potentially daunting subject into an opportunity for connection and understanding.
The hosts also stress the importance of legal and financial planning, including updating wills and establishing powers of attorney, to honor the wishes of aging family members and prepare for unexpected situations.
As they explore various housing options, they emphasize the need to understand individual preferences and research alternatives, such as in-home care. Ultimately, the episode encourages families to view these conversations as opportunities to strengthen their relationships and create a legacy of love and dignity.
Takeaways:
- The sandwich generation faces unique challenges as they care for both their children and aging parents, necessitating thoughtful planning and communication.
- Open and honest communication with family members regarding their wishes and needs is crucial to effective elder care.
- Proactive planning involves understanding and documenting the healthcare preferences and safety concerns of elderly family members.
- Utilizing everyday family gatherings as opportunities to discuss sensitive topics can foster a supportive environment for necessary conversations.
- Incorporating technology and safety measures into the living environment can significantly enhance the well-being of elderly family members.
- Creating a comprehensive plan that includes legal documents, financial considerations, and personal wishes is essential for effective management of aging relatives.
Additional Notes and resources have been attached below.
Feel welcome to share this episode with those in your circle who are on a similar path of learning.
We hope our conversations will help you acquire more knowledge, become even more curious about the gifts that are in and all around us, while supporting you to reach new heights as we grow together.
You can subscribe and listen to EWM INSIGHTS on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or the Ellis Wealth Management Homepage: https://elliswealthmanagement.net/podcasts/
Above all, through EWM INSIGHTS we want to encourage you to:
INVEST IN WHAT YOU LOVE!®
Resources:
The Ungame: https://www.creativetherapystore.com/products/ungame-board-game
Additional Resources:
- The Entertainers Checklist, Estate Guidelines and Considerations - EWM - The Entertainers Checklist, Estate Guidelines and Considerations A Value Based Resource Journal compliments of Ellis Wealth Management, LLC.
- The Next Generation of Wealth Transfer - An Action Plan for Passing On What Matters Most -Nuveen
- 10 Family Wealth Compass Questions - Journal.pdf - 10 Family Wealth Compass Questions - Journal
- Nuveen Family Wealth Education Curriculum.pdf
Family Wealth Series 10 Questions Journal
The Entertainers Checklist
The Next Generation of Wealth Transfer Workbook
Nuveen, Family Wealth Education Curriculum
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Ellis Wealth Management:
- 425-405-7720
- paul.ellis@elliswealthmanagement.net
- Nuveen
Transcript
Welcome to insights.
Speaker A:This is Paul Ellis, managing director of Ellis Wealth Management, where we encourage you to invest in what you love.
Speaker A:Ellis Wealth Management is an independent financial services firm focused on planning, advice, coaching and investment management.
Speaker A:We are dedicated to the families we serve and we encourage you to invest in what you love.
Speaker A:Within insights, we look at ways to make our world richer through focusing on sharing and developing human capital.
Speaker A:Well, all right.
Speaker A:What a great, great day it is in the beautiful Pacific North Northwest.
Speaker A:We are enjoying the kickoff of the summer months and we wait so long and we love them so much and days like today are just beautiful to enjoy.
Speaker A:I am so glad you joined us today.
Speaker A:We have with us today Jim Bergeron and Will from Nuveen.
Speaker A:We are in the midst of an advanced planning series and we have so far talked about the need for looking at your estate plan, looking at digital assets.
Speaker A:We also talked about federal tax issues.
Speaker A:We talked about advanced planning and trusts and different types of trusts.
Speaker A:Then we look a little bit further into family planning in some areas.
Speaker A:There some updated concerns regarding tax legislation that are coming down the pike and whether or not things are going to stay the same or whether they're going to be adjusted.
Speaker A:Today we're going to look at things a little differently.
Speaker A:We're going to take a look at our role as participants in a family.
Speaker A:And many of us have older family members, moms, parents, uncles and aunts, and how we can assist them and how we can make sure that things are integrated and in a family friendly format.
Speaker A:And so Jim, how are you today and are you ready for this conversation?
Speaker B:Hello again, Paul.
Speaker B:It is great connecting with you again.
Speaker B:And at this point, yeah, you know, I, I've appreciated greatly our opportunities over the past few months and sessions that we've put together to delve into some of these topics that are incredibly important from a family standpoint.
Speaker B:But as you know, Paul, really easy to maybe set on the side burner.
Speaker B:There are other more important and pressing matters.
Speaker B:You mentioned one of them very specifically here.
Speaker B:And the fact of the matter is sitting here in Minnesota, it is summertime.
Speaker B:And there are a lot of things that I can consider more worthwhile maybe than having a more dedicated planning conversation given the weather outside, but they're incredibly important.
Speaker B:And the piece that I've said in the past, and I'll read it right here, is that leaving some of these matters to the point in time in which they raise their head, it becomes problematic.
Speaker B:And then we start dealing with not only the complexities that arise from not discussing some of these issues ahead of time.
Speaker B:But that's layered on top of all of the emotion that might come with the actual event, giving rise to the conversation.
Speaker B:So the extent that we can maybe provide a couple of thoughts today for individuals to think through as they go through this process over the course of summer months, a lot of families are getting together.
Speaker B:Probably not the first discussion item that you're going to bring up, but maybe it is worth some conversation to at least initiate along the way.
Speaker B:So I'm happy to join back with you, Paul, and I'm looking forward to today's session.
Speaker A:Excellent.
Speaker A:I think that's true.
Speaker A:Having these opportunities to have family gatherings can provide a platform to have conversations after the cake is cut, after some of the things are put away.
Speaker A:But it can provide a platform or a nice setting to have some discussions.
Speaker A:Elder care is an area that is confronting the sandwich generation.
Speaker A:You and I have talked about that and it's for the sandwich generation generation ex.
Speaker A:It's where you have your children at home that you're maybe still launching.
Speaker A:Maybe they're in college, maybe they're new.
Speaker A:You're raising a family, but you also have an eye towards your parents.
Speaker A:You're having to take care of them.
Speaker A:Or maybe some of those duties are starting to show up on your to do list.
Speaker A:Checking in with mom and dad, seeing how they're doing and taking a more active role in their lives in a management standpoint.
Speaker A:Have you seen that?
Speaker A:I know that I have.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And again, you mentioned something very critical that as a part of this, we're going to talk today about some of the plan planning related pieces.
Speaker B:But one of the backdrops of that is not losing sight of that doesn't replace, for instance, the value that comes from those day to day interactions, those check ins, those things that we're doing with family members that are maybe a little bit more seasoned.
Speaker B:And as I become more seasoned, I'm hesitant to use the aging piece of it because it's becoming more and more apparent.
Speaker B:But that said, as we think that through planning for our more seasoned family members does involve some proactive things like discussing what are their wishes, what do they want to accomplish, what are the things that they in turn would like to see happen if certain events transpire, we're going to want to think about creating and updating legal documents, researching possibly care options again prior to when those care options become a necessity, giving us at least a little bit of Runway and flexibility, and then preparing for those potential needs.
Speaker B:So this is going to include addressing housing, financial planning, medical care, safety and well being all of those pieces kind of go into this conversation.
Speaker B:It's a pretty broad topic but to the extent that we take bite sized chunks at this topic, it becomes a whole lot easier.
Speaker B:And again, it's all going to center around communication.
Speaker B:And that's maybe a place for us to start.
Speaker A:Yes, let's start there.
Speaker A:Let's start at communication.
Speaker B:And Paul, to me, and I'm interested in your thoughts as well, one of the things that I've always encouraged families when I'm working direct with them is to be open and honest with their thoughts.
Speaker B:Initiate that honest conversation with your parents about what are their wishes for the future, including their preferences for remaining in their house, if they're currently living in that or if they would like some type of assistance.
Speaker B:And there are opportunities for assistance that can go beyond for instance, just relocating to a center, but in home assistance, daily check ins, those are all a part of it.
Speaker B:But we really need to start, I think with what are those open and honest conversations around that family member's wishes.
Speaker B:And unfortunately it should include end of life decisions.
Speaker B:I say unfortunately because it's an unfortunate event, but it is going to happen and for all of us.
Speaker B:And so again, to the extent that we can be open about that discussion today, when it's not imminent, when it's not right in front of us, when we're not dealing with the emotion, so much the better.
Speaker B:I'm curious, what are your thoughts and how are some of the, what are some of the ways that you've maybe helped families think through that dialogue process?
Speaker A:Yeah, Jim, those are very sensitive issues, especially around end of life conversations.
Speaker A:One of the things that I think is really important is if you can open up those lines of communication in a relaxed manner, it can provide a good foundation for having deeper conversations.
Speaker A:So one of the things people can do is use something like a game.
Speaker A:A game like maybe the ungame.
Speaker A:It's a game where there aren't winners or losers, but throughout the course of the time together you're revealing things.
Speaker A:You're sharing your thoughts, you're sharing your wishes, you're sharing your hopes and your goals.
Speaker A:And that can a platform for individuals, once they begin sharing, to have follow up conversations as well.
Speaker A:So that's a technique that I think would work well for many families.
Speaker B:I like that Paul.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean to me that is part of what I would suggest is important.
Speaker B:If we're going through this, this communication process and discussion and being open and honest.
Speaker B:That necessitates creating that safe environment for those conversations to happen.
Speaker B:And I love that idea, right.
Speaker B:Utilizing maybe something as simple as a game or structure that provides that safe environment, and it encourages a more open dialogue because it's not kind of encumbered by those heavy emotional thoughts that we're being really serious about these things, serious conversations, but we don't have to always take them so seriously.
Speaker B:And I think having that, maybe even a little bit of fun along with it, that helps create that environment.
Speaker B:And one thing I'd also encourage, and I know you've talked about this in the past, and part of what you worked on with families that you're working with directly is to make sure then that we capture some of what we learn.
Speaker B:It may be as simple as just taking notes.
Speaker B:In some cases, families have recorded conversations.
Speaker B:Everyone needs to be comfortable with that.
Speaker B:But the idea is document what you've talked about, Document what you've heard.
Speaker B:Don't lose sight of it.
Speaker B:And that gives you also the opportunity to make sure that it's accurate.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:The last thing we want is for someone to say, well, this is what I heard.
Speaker B:And so this is what we're going to work on, and only have that family member say, well, wait a minute, I never said that, or I'm not thinking that way, so let's document.
Speaker B:Let's take some of those notes.
Speaker B:And I think, again, all of that is a part of this communication structure.
Speaker B:That communication, to me, Paul, then starts to flow into what are some of the legal and financial planning opportunities that we want to take advantage of.
Speaker B:We've had some conversations, we've encouraged the open dialogue.
Speaker B:We've gotten a sense, for instance, for what that parent might be looking for in some of those discussion points related to their future years all the way up to end of life.
Speaker B:And we've captured that well, now we want to start making sure that the documents and the plans are coordinated with.
Speaker A:That is working with Ellis Wealth Management for this podcast.
Speaker A:But there's some components that Nuveen wants to make sure that everyone understands.
Speaker A:Would you be willing to share that again?
Speaker C:Sure, we'll do so here.
Speaker C:This material is not intended to be a recommendation or investment advice, and it doesn't constitute a solicitation to buy, sell, or hold a security or an investment strategy and is not provided in a fiduciary capacity.
Speaker C:The information provided does not take into account specifics or objectives or circumstances of any particular individual or family or suggest any specific course of action.
Speaker C:Investment decisions should be made based on your individual objectives and circumstances and in consultation with your advisors.
Speaker C:The Views and opinions expressed here are for informational and educational purposes only as of the date of the production and may change without notice at any time based upon numerous factors such as market or other conditions.
Speaker C:Additional risks and uncertainties may not come to pass.
Speaker C:And so as a result, you have to consider these as informational discussions directly.
Speaker C:Nuveen does not provide legal or tax based information.
Speaker C:Nuveen provides investment advisory solutions through its investment specialists.
Speaker A:Right, Absolutely.
Speaker A:I want to interject one particular additional thought.
Speaker A:I think that could be a tool to assist the family members in sharing and then capturing not only certain legal documents that we'll talk about, but maybe some really wonderful experiences that they would like to pass on knowledge wise to the family as well.
Speaker A:So we live in a time where everybody's writing a book, and I do believe that there are resources out there that can assist family members in capturing thoughts, stories, events down in a written form that can be passed on.
Speaker A:So helping your family members write a book or maybe write a pamphlet or capture that in a document that way can also assist them in opening up, sharing open lines of communication that can also be passed on.
Speaker A:So many times I think when people think of taking notes, they think of, I need a yellow pad of paper, I need to jot down, you know, who gets what, what do they want to have done?
Speaker A:But there's another opportunity as well in capturing information and passing that on.
Speaker A:What are your thoughts about that?
Speaker B:What a tremendously good way of not only capturing some of that information, but then starting to give some air and some space to this idea of what are the values that are also important.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:And as you know, we've talked about this a lot in the past, Paul, that when it comes to wealth, wealth is and should be defined as more than just the economic resources that an individual has.
Speaker B:And certainly from a family standpoint, wealth includes not just what they've got in terms of assets, but the values, the things that make them who they are.
Speaker B:For that elderly family member, there is a credible wealth of information and experience that would not only be of interest, but of real benefit for future generations.
Speaker B:Capturing that in the form and structure of something like a book, incredibly insightful.
Speaker B:And while I am not the person to be talking about with the latest and greatest in technology, fact of the matter is you record some of these conversations.
Speaker B:There is technology that allows you to essentially have that recording turned into that piece that ultimately might become that family book, as you indicated, and to do so.
Speaker B:So much easier than just sitting down and transcribing by hand.
Speaker B:It's a great point, Paul, and I love the idea.
Speaker A:Being able to surround serious issues with space, fun, encouragement and participation I think would go a long way in reducing some of the hesitancy in taking care of some of these issues.
Speaker B:Correct, Paul, let's spend maybe a minute or two talking about some of the document related pieces that should go along with this conversation.
Speaker B:And I'm going to start that piece of our conversation off with this caveat that while I'm an attorney by training, I'm not providing legal advice here that every individual that's listening should have and interact with their own personal legal representatives.
Speaker B:When it comes time to put a will or power of attorney in place, consult with your own legal advisors.
Speaker B:We're providing the recommendations for that, but neither Paul or I can provide provide legal advice directly.
Speaker B:So keep that in mind.
Speaker B:But when we start this next conversation, we're moving from maybe that communication and discovery process to now starting to formalize some things from a legal document standpoint.
Speaker B:You should ensure that your parents have up to date wills in place in some previous sessions.
Speaker B:If you're interested, maybe go back to some of our previous recordings in this series and to give you a sense for what should be thinking about when you put that will in place.
Speaker B:When executors are selected, do they understand, for instance, their roles?
Speaker B:Are there items of sentimental value that should be addressed rather than just left to chance and circumstance that they end up in the right person's hands at the right time without causing family discord?
Speaker B:So go back to maybe some of those earlier sessions.
Speaker B:But when you think about it, first stop in this process is going to be making sure that there is an updated will in place.
Speaker B:Then from that I think we'd want to mention the idea of powers of attorney.
Speaker B:Now, what is a power of attorney?
Speaker B:Essentially it's a document that you put together, that you draft that gives someone else the legal authority to act on your behalf.
Speaker B:And generally speaking, in two domains, one may be financial.
Speaker B:If you are unable to communicate your wishes, perhaps there's been an accident or something along those lines.
Speaker B:This document identifies who maybe it is a family member has the legal authority to act on your behalf, to maybe make changes in your investment portfolios or to continue some port programs that have been put in place, maybe even writing checks to pay bills on your behalf.
Speaker B:And then the other document, a power of attorney for medical purposes, who has the legal right and authority to interact with the health care team.
Speaker B:Again, if you are in that incapacitated state.
Speaker B:Now, oftentimes these things just Happen by circumstance.
Speaker B:But I'm not necessarily one that likes the idea of saying, I hope that nothing goes wrong.
Speaker B:Hope's not a plan.
Speaker B:A plan entails.
Speaker B:We contemplate these things and put the appropriate documentations in place so will, with the appropriate designations, powers of attorney for financial and medical purposes.
Speaker B:And I know, Paul, you've had some.
Speaker B:Some experiences with some of these types of documents in the past.
Speaker B:I'm curious about your thoughts.
Speaker A:Yeah, you know, I had the opportunity of speaking with a good friend of mine the other day, and she asked me to share the story, actually, so I will share it this way.
Speaker A:She lived overseas for a little bit, and her sister had power of attorney for their father while she was overseas.
Speaker A:And when she came back, she resumed duties of checking in with dad and working with dad and spending more and more time with her father.
Speaker A:And eventually over the last couple of years, she was basically the sole caretaker for her father.
Speaker A:And they had discussions on what the father wanted to have done with his estate, how he wanted his medical directives to be taken care of, and.
Speaker A:And she spent all of her time taking care of her dad.
Speaker A:I mean, besides running her business, it was running her business and her family and taking care of dad.
Speaker A:That was pretty much it.
Speaker A:As the father began to fail in the last couple of years, she found it very frustrating that the medical directives, the power of attorney that had been put in place when she was overseas years ago had never been changed.
Speaker A:So one of her other siblings, that was the power of attorney while she was overseas, started making medical decisions.
Speaker A:And since he had already began to fail, he was not deemed in a position to change those medical directives or power of attorney, even though his wills and his thoughts and his concerns had changed considerably over the years.
Speaker A:So it created a lot of strife that in the end, the father passed away in a manner he did not want to pass away.
Speaker A:He was living in a manner that he did not want to live in.
Speaker A:And the person who was making the decisions are someone who really hadn't spent time with him in the last two to three years.
Speaker A:So her response to me in our conversation was, please share that hopefully other people will recognize that they should take care of things while they can.
Speaker A:And sometimes life gets away from you rather quickly.
Speaker A:And it's created quite a bit of stress in the family.
Speaker B:Again, this.
Speaker B:I mean, it's.
Speaker B:It's an unfortunate circumstance that befell that.
Speaker B:That family and that interaction.
Speaker B:Unfortunate from my standpoint, that unfortunate situation gets compounded if we don't learn from it.
Speaker A:That's correct act from it.
Speaker B:And I think that was that individual that you spoke with that that were was her exact thought.
Speaker B:And that is, I hope others don't have to experience what I've experienced, learn from these things that we talk about.
Speaker B:And at the end of the day we don't bring them up because we're just excited to talk.
Speaker B:These are real issues.
Speaker B:These are real things that families need to deal with in addition to the legal documents.
Speaker B:Paul, I know you spend an awful lot of time working with families to put together that financial plan for them that revolves around their financial situation, their investments, their potential needs for cash flow and long term care.
Speaker B:That is as an important part of these documents, as the actual legal documents, the wills and or trusts.
Speaker B:That financial plan is something that you should discuss with your parents.
Speaker B:If you're ultimately going to be providing some assistance to them.
Speaker B:One of the best things that you can do is make sure that they've got financial plan in place with a planning professional.
Speaker B:Wouldn't you agree, Paul?
Speaker A:I would indeed.
Speaker A:And many times what I'm sharing with clients in reviews is that while the assets are important, these other four, four corner documents are much more important.
Speaker B:Yeah, and I would agree.
Speaker B:And I think there's something embedded in that that we should maybe again mention.
Speaker B:You mentioned the four corner documents.
Speaker B:One of those corners that we talked about in the past is that idea of a living will.
Speaker B:It may be confused sometimes with an actual will.
Speaker B:A will is that document that disposes of your assets at death.
Speaker B:It directs where they're going to go to who's going to receive them and how they're going to receive them.
Speaker B:A living will, slightly different.
Speaker B:This is actually a document that identifies what would you like to have done on your behalf if you are in an incapacitated terminal state.
Speaker B:The unfortunate part of this is there is no exit other than passing.
Speaker B:And in that state it is very likely that decisions are still going to need to be made, but you're likely unable to communicate your wishes.
Speaker B:So this document outlines things like care, nutrition, hydration, pain medication.
Speaker B:What would you like to see done on your behalf?
Speaker B:You're writing this document not for your benefit because you are in that incapacitated state and it's terminal, but it's for your family's benefit.
Speaker B:If you've ever had to sit in a hospice room and make decisions like that with individuals with family members, you know how painful it can be.
Speaker B:This document doesn't make it painless, it just makes it less painful to go through that process.
Speaker B:So having that Living will in place.
Speaker B:I think with those four corner pieces, the financial plan wrapping around that, that helps you maybe as that provider of assistance for that elderly family member to know that they're in pretty good stat.
Speaker B:At this point, we probably ought to turn our conversation next fall to some thoughts just around housing and some of the care options.
Speaker B:And again, you or I are not experts in this arena, but our experiences have indicated there are a few things that individuals should be aware of.
Speaker B:If you're working and dealing with an elderly family member, we ought to be considering some of those housing and care options.
Speaker A:A living will, Some may confuse that with a living trust.
Speaker A:Some may confuse that term with a medical directive.
Speaker A:Can you explain the differences between those three?
Speaker B:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker B:And in fact, it's a really good point.
Speaker B:And maybe we reference what I refer to as living will as a letter of wishes.
Speaker A:There you go.
Speaker B:Because at the end of the day, the term could confuse it.
Speaker B:As I said, a living will is not necessarily meant to be your actual dispositive document.
Speaker B:The actual will, this living will, let's call it letter of wishes, is different from a living trust.
Speaker B:You may have heard that term before that refers to a certain type of actual legal document, a trust that functions very similarly to a will.
Speaker B:And in some cases the two are used even in conjunction, a will and a living trust.
Speaker B:But this letter of wishes, what I referred to as living will, is a different document.
Speaker B:Really.
Speaker B:Its sole purpose is to identify what are the decisions that you can address ahead of time for that end of life scenario, including health care, things that you would like to see done.
Speaker B:And this is not necessarily a document that needs to be legally executed.
Speaker B:It's informal and such that you can, if you want, write into that things like what would you like to see done at a memorial service?
Speaker B:What are the things that you would like to be additive to that?
Speaker B:Are there certain types of musical pieces that you would like to have?
Speaker B:You can write that all into this document.
Speaker B:Again, not the funnest of conversations, but it is incredibly important and I encourage people to think about it and discuss it now while you can, maybe even joke a little bit about it, make it a little bit more light hearted.
Speaker B:A really good point.
Speaker B:Let's not confuse what I referenced as a living will, other words living or a letter of wishes, with the actual will.
Speaker B:Those are two completely separate documents.
Speaker B:And those two are completely separate from this thing that you referenced, a living trust.
Speaker A:Hopefully that helps Paul clears it up.
Speaker A:That is terrific.
Speaker A:I know that there will be people that are swimming in different Terminology, and by having it cleared up the way that you just shared, you know, a letter of wishes, that that will make things a lot easier for a lot of people, I'm sure.
Speaker B:Let's move maybe into a conversation around some of that home care.
Speaker B:We've got, you know, some a few minutes left here, and I think it's important for us to at least point out a couple of thoughts that we've learned in our processes and dealing with individuals that are working with and maybe interacting for elderly family members.
Speaker B:But the idea of care, housing, safety, all of those things are incredibly important and oftentimes more tangible for family members.
Speaker B:So for me, and I'm interested in your thoughts as well, one of the things that I'll always encourage families to think about, even if your parent, the individual that you're focusing on for this planning structure, is living at home, perfectly capable of being independent and living independently, it still makes sense to start thinking about maybe researching some of the different housing and care options, such as assisted living or in home care.
Speaker B:We go back to the first item we talked about today.
Speaker B:It was that open and honest dialogue.
Speaker B:That dialogue should include, well, mom, you're perfectly capable of caring for yourself and living independently right now.
Speaker B:And that's likely going to continue for a number of years going forward.
Speaker B:But if something were to happen, what do you think you would like?
Speaker B:Would you like in home care, Would you be open to this idea of assisted living?
Speaker B:Are there thoughts around that?
Speaker B:Do you have a facility that you are interested in?
Speaker B:Not too long ago, my own mother had a fall and required a hospital stay and then some rehab assistance.
Speaker B:As a part of that, during that time in the hospital that we found out that she had a particular place in mind for rehab that she wanted to be at.
Speaker B:And so rather than just kind of being assigned somewhere or the first item up on the list of available options, there's a particular place that she had in mind.
Speaker B:Understanding that made that process a whole lot easier.
Speaker B:So starting the conversation around, for instance, what are the different care options and what does that individual want?
Speaker B:I think it's incredibly important.
Speaker B:What do you think, Paul?
Speaker A:I think it's incredibly important.
Speaker A:People tend to heal faster when they're in places that they enjoy and that they approve of.
Speaker A:People tend not to recover as quickly if they are forced to recover or convalesce in areas that are not with their wishes.
Speaker B:And as part of this, again, these are items that we would suggest that if you have a family member that you're thinking about when you're listening to this, maybe even starting to assemble a little bit of this checklist of things that you might want to do.
Speaker B:In addition to that dialogue around what types of care and where might that location be, one of the things that should be on that list of actions to perform is a home safety evaluation, that evaluation of the safety of the environment itself.
Speaker B:Again, personal experience, are there things on the floor that can be trip hazards, rail rugs, for instance, things like that, all should be evaluated for a potential hazard.
Speaker B:Maybe even installing safety devices, alert systems, fall detectors, other safety measures in the home are a part of this process.
Speaker B:It doesn't have to happen right away, but the sooner you start thinking about it, you can take those bite sized chunks out of this overall plan and address them along the way.
Speaker B:It doesn't have to be done in a matter of days as opposed to maybe waiting until something happens.
Speaker B:And now again you're faced with all of the issues that go along with that final piece here.
Speaker B:And then I'll pause again, Paul, but coordinating the conversations with your family members, medical staff, working with your parents, health care providers to address for instance the medical concern and make sure that preventative measures are in place.
Speaker B:Make sure that if a power of attorney for health care is in place, that the medical providers understand that and that that person designated in that document is starting to understand what is the care plan for this particular individual.
Speaker B:And then, you know, we do live in an age in which technology is becoming so incredibly advanced.
Speaker B:But even utilizing certain monitor tracking technologies in parents locations can it can alert you if for instance, a family member has taken a fall and is immobile for some time period.
Speaker B:And maybe they're not able to communicate to anyone, they're not near a phone, they don't have an alert button themselves.
Speaker B:These types of tracking opportunities will notify you and give you a chance to do a bit of that check in or have a neighbor stop by.
Speaker B:I've heard too many horror stories of individuals that have had to wait hours, in some cases even days, for someone to discover that they've had an accident.
Speaker B:And so from that standpoint, utilizing these technologies, doing the home assessment, installing maybe some of those safety devices, coordinating these discussions with the healthcare staff, using some of this advanced technology that is now available, should all be a part of this plan that we start to assemble.
Speaker A:There was a case that was of national interest not too long ago regarding that very thing.
Speaker A:Gene Hackman passed away.
Speaker A:The actor Gene Hackman and his wife also had passed away.
Speaker A:And part of the situation, I gather from what was released from the police department was that she was the caregiver, the wife was the caregiver of him, Gene Hackman.
Speaker A:She passed away, fell, took ill and he couldn't get assistance.
Speaker A:So there was no one there to check up on them and they both passed away.
Speaker A:So in an environment where, in which we live today, where technology is trackable, such as a wearable, such as an Apple watch or a Garmin watch or other items, there really isn't an excuse not to be able to monitor or to communicate.
Speaker A:It's a matter of setting it up.
Speaker B:And again, it gets back to all of the things that we started this conversation with around dialogue and conversation, things that maybe utilize tracking related services for an individual, for an elderly family member, it may feel invasive.
Speaker B:And I think that's what we want to avoid.
Speaker B:That's the conversation, the dialogue, the opportunities to do this are for your benefit and for the family's benefit overall.
Speaker B:But let's have that conversation as opposed to just forcing it upon someone.
Speaker B:So we've talked about a fair amount today and maybe start to wrap up but a couple of points in this final piece and then I'll go through and maybe reiterate what we've talked about today.
Speaker B:But this whole process of home care and evaluations should all contemplate, for instance, the daily support needs of our family members, making sure that those medications are managed and appropriately stocked.
Speaker B:Emergency information is available, including the contacts for that family member.
Speaker B:If a neighbor, for instance, work to come in and find our family member in a state in which they need care, certainly their first action is going to be calling that 911 line, making sure that help is on the way.
Speaker B:But then beyond that, who else?
Speaker B:Who from a family standpoint, are they identified and is that information clearly identified?
Speaker B:I'm not going to have someone go through drawers and indexes looking, looking for phone numbers, making sure those emergency contacts are very visible.
Speaker B:And then finally, social interaction and engagement.
Speaker B:That's an incredibly important part of our elderly family members lifestyle and encouraging those social interactions and activities.
Speaker B:It helps prevent isolation.
Speaker B:And Paul, you mentioned something earlier on that I do believe very strongly and that's the power of our psyches on our wellness overall.
Speaker B:All in our physical wellness, social interactions are an incredibly important part of that.
Speaker A:And I'll just take us full circle back to say this can be fun.
Speaker A:This can be an opportunity to deepen the relationships.
Speaker A:It can be an opportunity to assist your parents or loved ones in sharing stories, sharing their story, sharing things that they would still wish to pass along and advice.
Speaker A:So it can be a very uplifting conversation and it can be designed that way.
Speaker A:And I would encourage everyone to take a look at it from that aspect with those lenses because that will go a long way in really assisting with a lot of the heavy lifting.
Speaker A:The environment, the platform and the focus can make it all worthwhile and more.
Speaker B:I absolutely agree, Paul.
Speaker B:And I think from our standpoint, having worked through a lot of these processes, the experiences and the stories that we can provide, again, are all opportunities to take advantage of.
Speaker B:Let's not just assume and hope that it's not going to happen, that something bad might not.
Speaker B:Let's plan to mitigate the risk of it happening.
Speaker B:And if something does happen, we know we're equipped to take advantage of it.
Speaker B:And the final piece, Paul, I absolutely love your idea of maybe have a little bit of fun with this.
Speaker B:These are not necessarily fun conversations, but it doesn't mean we can't have fun with them.
Speaker B:And if we do it before the need is there, it's so much easier.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:And we hope to secure the family mission, passing the baton of legacy from one generation to the next with love and dignity.
Speaker A:Jim, I want to thank you so much for your time today and will thank you very much as well.
Speaker A:And we continue to encourage everyone to always invest in your family, in yourself, in what you love.
